Saturday, February 21, 2009
Fear Sucks & Our Favorite Black Belt
Last night we had testing for our next Tae Kwon Do belts. We test in groups of 4, and 2 groups are being tested at once in our studio.
Six weeks ago during the last testing cycle, I panicked and froze in the middle of my form (which consisted of 40 some moves). After about 30 seconds, I was able to continue and complete the form, but I gotta tell you, that it was the longest 30 seconds of my life. I was so shook up, I don't even remember the rest of my time in front of the judges. As I made the walk of shame back to where my family was sitting, Sydney looked up at me and said, "Maybe next time, you should practice more." GRRRRR... I replied, "I don't think that had anything to do with how much I practiced."
Well, karma came back to bite Syd in the butt (heh heh), because her group was next and she did the same exact thing. The only difference, though, was that she raised her hand after she was finished and asked for permission to perform again (it is rumored that you can get extra points for that).
Anyway, last night, I did the same darn thing. This form was a bit shorter, but after the second move, I froze again. I felt the same feelings of panic rising inside me. I was able to shake it off and continue, but it was shear hell for those few seconds. My 12 year old partner was able to drag me through the self-defense segment (I truly don't remember much about those few minutes). I then stood before the judges awaiting the dreaded questions. Silently, I prayed, "Please, God, let them ask me something simple. Don't let them ask me the camo belt philosophy." Of course, that is exactly what happened. That sickening feeling again welled up inside me and I stumbled through the sentence, ""The sapling is hidden amongst the taller pines and must now fight its way upward."(WTH does that really mean, anyway???) I'd like to think that this will get easier for me as time goes on, but experience tells me that it will only get harder. I'm determined to get that black belt, though, so I guess I'll just continue to plug away and just pray that if I make it through future testings without peeing my pants or dropping the "f" bomb, I can consider these events successes;)
After testing, we had promised the kids that we would go to Angelo's (a pizza & steak house) for dinner, so we loaded into HH's mini van (yes, my husband drives a mini van) and drove to the restaurant. Once inside, we seated ourselves at a table for six. The kids sat down at one side of the table and HH & I on the other. After perusing the menu, I looked up to see Reilly reading a book, Sydney texting on her phone & Griffin listening to his IPOD. HH & I immediately put the big kebosh on that, because it's rare that we are all able to sit down together to eat. They begrudgingly put away their things and we had an amazing time talking, laughing & stuffing our faces. It's definitely been a while since the 5 of us have enjoyed a leisurely dinner out together. We definitely need to take time out of our busy schedules to do this more often!
To see a darling photo of our favorite little black belt kiddo, CLICK HERE!
Hope everyone has a great weekend. TTFN!!!
(PHOTO taken from HERE)